Friday, May 14, 2004

Cowboy Dan's a major player in the cowboy scene.

Well, shit. Looks like we're starting to see what a lineup featuring Dave McCarty, Gabe Kapler and Brian Daubach can do. When the pitching falters, Caeser Crespo can't seem to come up big in the clutch. I don't know what's wrong with him. Maybe it's because I thought he was on the Twins in Spring Training. Blame me, Caesar, blame me. The positive: a. Trot and Nomar are making progress and b. it's still May, abeit rapidly approaching June. Hopefully their return will help the Sox get back in to games when the pitching isn't totally on. However, if this is the scene in August, call in the suicide watch.

Derek Lowe. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Hmmm, I know I wrote a long list of reasons to send to the Red Sox as to why I think they shouldn't give in to Derek's salary demands. Where is it? Oh here it is. It says "3 out of 4 of Derek's last starts." Sorry buddy, fragile egos such as your shouldn't play hardball and try to pitch for a payday. Whatever, the horse is dead and it's starting to look a little flat.

This Bonds intentional walk debates is out of control. I wish everyone would shut the fuck up about it. Yeah it sucks he doesn't get a chance to hit, but I mean come on. Welcome to Jake Peavy's head: "Hmmm, do I pitch to Bonds or do I pitch to Yorvit Torrealba? Shit, this is a tough one. I better ask Ramon what he thinks. Oh, four fingers. Right, right. Yorvit sucks!" Don't change the rules and stop talking about changing the rules. Enough is enough. Remember how successful the Giants were with Bonds and Kent hitting back to back? I wonder why that was. Oh well, I'm sure it had nothing to do with Kent's talents. I bet it was because Barry played better when Jeff Kent would jump buses on his motorcycle before the game. Oops, I just saw that Ray Durham is back. That should help.

Jesus, Roger Clemens. Apparently staying home 6 out of 7 days of the week agree with him.

Angels put Erstad on the DL: Because the move to first was supposed to keep his Griffystrings healthy. Right. Note: Hamstrings are now forever known as Griffystrings. It just makes sense.

Ray Durham should help!!! Hahahahahahahaha! Yeah right.

Ignore the next thing if you like opinions SPORTS and not about OTHER THINGS:

Since when did the Boston Herald's front page headlines become so disgusting? At least the World Weekly News *attempts* to report objectively. The front page of the Herald is the journalistic equivalent of a "I Went All the Way to Iraq Just to Smoke a Camel" t-shirt. Bravo!

I end this on a thought about the Rockies going to a four man rotation: Good for you. I liked the humidor idea, I like this idea, and I hate that you built a park one mile about sea level. It's worth a shot. If the Rockies are ever going to have success, they definitely to need to try new things out and see if something will work. My favorite thing about the Rockies: They got Mike Hampton and everyone was all "Oh man Mike Hampton is doing terrible! Must be the high altitude." Friends, Mike Hampton could pitch on Jupiter, in a bionic robot suit, to batters without oxygen, using a rocket power ball and he would still get shellacked.

Saturday, May 01, 2004


Pedro flips out, says he will become a free agent, and then takes the mound and gets shelled. Can't say I'm not a little bit warm and fuzzy inside about that turn of events. Curly haired boyfriend will certainly have something to say on Sunday. Fin.